It's so difficult

I'm pretty new to the army gf thing. My bf has only been in basic training since Sept. 9, but it has been really hard for me to adjust. I still haven't slept tonight, and I have a paper to write and an 8:50 class. It's just so hard to make myself do anything. I just keep getting paranoid about little things; all the things my bf used to always help me with...We've been together three years, and I don't know what I would do without him. He's my best friend, and I feel like a part of me is missing. I've only gotten one 5 minute phone call this whole time. Yeah, I get letters, at least one a week, sometimes two, but it just isn't the same. I want to hear his voice, hug him, anything...I got a letter from him today, and he is really sweet, and only wants the best for me. I feel like I'm letting him down by not going to class or not being able to make myself get my work done...I just don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so useless sometimes. None of my friends understand.

I mean it's not all bad. I have friends here who care about me, and I know my man loves me, and I trust him completely. For that I am grateful. Tomorrow my family is coming for Parents Weekend at my college, and it should be nice to see them again. I just wish he could be with them to see me too. But I get to see him for Family Day in 28 more days! Ugh. I wish I could just skip the rest of this month and have it be November.

He keeps saying how he wishes he could call me, but I guess the guys he's with keep messing up. He told me that it made him cry to end our conversation so soon the one time he got to call me. It makes me so sad when I hear that, but also happy that he cares that much. I never realized how sweet and romantic he could be until he went to Georgia for basic, though, so I guess that's a blessing in a way. Idk. I don't mean to ramble on and on, but I just have to get this out and off of my chest. I wish there was a church nearby that I could go to. I don't even usually feel like I'm a very religious person, but at this point I feel like talking to God might help. My bf told me he's been going to services on Sunday, which is unlike him at home, but maybe he's changed in that way as well. I just hope that he still cares for me when this is all said and done...